Still Single For Valentine’s Day
Yeah, it’s Valentine’s Day, and your still single. It seems like everyone else is celebrating love and romance with their special someone while you can only dream about having someone with whom you can hold hands, kiss and otherwise share life. What kind of masochist dreamed up this holiday? Was it created solely to make single people feel lonely and unlovable? Probably not, but it sure feels that way sometimes.
And unfortunately, that is the net result, it tends to become a Singleness Awareness Day where single people feel like their faces get rubbed in the fact that they are still single. I would remind you again though that this is not the intent, but for the unattached, at times it sure feels that way.
If it makes you feel any better, lots of married folks don’t fare much better on Valentine’s Day. A lot of the time it ends up being at least a bit of a letdown for them too. It sets the romance bar so high that most people feel like they fall way short. For the married or still single alike, it sets the stage for disappointment. It builds up unrealistic expectations to which few people can ever measure up.
So, what’s a single person to do?
My advice to married people and those still single is very similar. Try to have some realistic expectations for Valentine’s Day. It probably will not be as awesome or horrific as you imagine.
It is so easy to let your imagination run wild and think about how perfect life would be if only you had someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with. But, why would you think that? Are any other holidays perfect? Is anything ever perfect?
Things very rarely live up to the perfect images we build in our mind. If you were married before, were Valentine’s Days all you ever hoped for back then? I doubt it, at least not on a regular basis.
On the other hand, was last Valentine’s Day as bad as you thought it would be? Often the dread of something is a lot worse than the thing itself.
What You Make It
Try to keep this in mind – every day is what you make of it. That includes ordinary days, work days, vacation days, special days and holidays. That includes Valentine’s Day.
This Valentine’s Day will be pretty much what you decide to make of it. Just like in all of life, you have a lot of effect on what this day will be like. So, plan on doing something you enjoy. Plan on spending it in the company of some good, like-minded, positive friends. And, plan on it being not quite as good or as bad as you expect. That is the way life usually happens, it usually ends up somewhere in between.
And even if you can’t make something good happen on Valentine’s Day, you still have complete control over your attitude about it. Your joy and peace of mind are not dependent on what happens on any particular day. You only have so much control over what will happen on a certain day. But, you do have absolute control over how you will feel about and react to the events of the day.
Okay, pop psych test: is the girl in the picture at the top of this post feeling lonely? Or, is she on some grand adventure relishing her solitude? How she feels in that moment is largely the result of her intention for and planning of that day.
How you think she feels in that moment might say something about your attitude toward your singleness. Have you learned to appreciate the good in it?
So, this Valentine’s Day manage your expectations, do what you can to make it a Happy Valentine’s Day, adjust your attitude – and Thrive On!
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