We all have regrets. A lot of the things we regret stem from relatively minor choices. Things like not double checking our self in the mirror before we go out, not packing extra underwear for a trip, or eating that extra dessert, could lead to regrettable consequences, but they have a low probability of destroying our lives.
Other times, the things we regret can be life-altering, like not flossing, not exercising regularly, smoking, quitting school, getting drunk, using drugs, or marrying that person everybody told us was no good for us.
Having at least a few regrets is unavoidable. Hopefully, your regrets are more like the former and less like the latter. However, that being said, I have found that there are some things in life that you will never regret. Here are a few of them.
I have never heard anyone say:
- I’m so glad I started having sex before I got married.
- Pornography has really changed my life for the better.
- Good thing I had that affair.
On the other hand, how many people do you know personally who have regrets about not maintaining their sexual purity? The world is filled with story after story of people who damaged or destroyed their marriages, ruined their reputations, or at a minimum had to make embarrassing confessions to someone in whom they were interested. Don’t let that happen to you.
I have never had anyone tell me that they regret not having sex while they were single. But, I have seen a lot of people regret doing it. Of course, a lot of people do not regret it. But, I’m assuming they have different morals and values than you and I and that you want to do the right thing.
Some people who engage in sex outside of marriage and have no religious or moral reasons to abstain still end up with regrets. Their regrets may be due to undesirable consequences rather than a guilty conscience, but they still have regrets. But, as I said, I have never known of anyone who regretted not having sex outside of marriage. You will never regret staying sexually pure. Never.
Boundaries and Guardrails
Boundaries and guardrails are slightly different, but I am lumping them together for this post. They both help protect you, but in slightly different ways.
Proper boundaries protect you from burnout, bad people who would take advantage of you, and your own weaknesses.
Well-constructed guardrails protect you from danger. They put some margin and safe distance between you and disaster.
To some people, your boundaries may seem selfish and, your guardrails may seem unnecessarily strict. Be careful of people who try to get you to modify them. They may have their own agenda and not have your best interests in mind.
Keep your boundaries and guardrails firmly in place. They will protect you. You will never regret having good boundaries and guardrails in place. Never.
Time Spent Being Single
As odd as this seems at first, as much as I dreaded becoming single again in midlife, I am so glad I spent a long time just being single. I needed it. One huge mistake I see single again and recently broke up people make is hooking up too quickly with someone in either a quick marriage or a marriage-like dating relationship.
As much as I dreaded it, I needed to be single for a while – a long while. It is good and healthy to be truly single for an extended period of time. In that time, you heal, learn, and grow into the person you need to be to make your next relationship last.
I have seen many people regret rushing into marriage or a dating relationship. I have never seen anyone regret spending time being single for a while. Never.
Seriously, do I even need to go here? How many people have you seen do permanent damage to their car, life, loved ones, relationships, or reputations by drinking too much? Too much alcohol leads to impaired judgment and lowered inhibitions.
If you are going out on a date to get to know someone, why would you drink? You probably know someone who got taken advantage of because they drank too much on a date. Talk about regrets – that is a perfect recipe for regrets.
On the other hand, have you ever known anyone who regretted not drinking? “I wish I had drunk more”, said no one – ever. You will never regret not drinking. Never.
How do you spend your free time? Do you think there is a possibility that one day you might regret all the time and money you devoted to mindless entertainment?
I challenge you to take some of the time and money you spend on watching television and playing video games and use those valuable resources on things that make you a better you.
Read a few books. Take a few classes. Learn some new skills. Start an exercise program. Besides feeling better about yourself, as an added bonus you may become more interesting and more attractive to the opposite sex.
Time and money are finite. Time even more so than money. You can perhaps find a way to get more money, but you cannot get more time. Spend them both wisely. Spend them on things that matter.
Do people regret wasting their money and time? Absolutely. Has anyone ever regretted using their time and money to improve him or herself? No. You will never regret doing things to better yourself. Never
I could go on. Besides sexual purity, boundaries and guardrails, time spent being single, sobriety, and bettering yourself, there are other things you can do that you will never regret. For instance, you will never regret giving your time and money to a good cause, giving blood, exercising, praying more, being more kind, or genuinely loving people. Never.
What About You?
So, make a conscious effort to identify the things you do that lead to regrets. Then identify some things you can do that you will never regret. Ask yourself these questions.
Are there some choices you regret?
What changed can you make that will lead to fewer regrets from now on?
Oh, and be sure to go back and follow some of the links in this article. Some of them are very important.
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