One Year of Thrive Singles Blog!
Today’s post is different from the posts I’ve written so far. This post marks the one year birthday of Thrive Singles Blog! It also makes about six months of the Thrive Singles Podcast, and about three months of episodes on the Thrive Singles Blog YouTube channel. Today I want to share a little more of my story with you, take a look back over the past year, and share my vision for the future.
Those of you here locally who were a part of Thrive Singles Ministry or my DivorceCare group know that I was married for about sixteen years, got divorced around forty years old, then lived as a midlife single for almost seven years.
What you may not know is that I was the last one in my circle of friends to get married and the only one at that time to get divorced. That being the case, I hated being single. I hated being single longer than my friends in my younger years and especially hated being single again in midlife.
So, when I came up with the tagline “Stop hating being single. Learn to thrive.” I was speaking not only as someone who had seen singles struggle but someone who personally hated being single longer than I had hoped and then being single again.
The things I write about are the things that helped me go from that person who hated being single to someone who learned to thrive as a single. Now, as I write each blog post and record each podcast episode, I sincerely hope that what I write and say is helpful to you. Because if someone like me can go from hating to thriving, so can you.
What I Believe
I believe, based on my own experience, the experiences of others I have observed, and all the books I have read, that how you think about your singleness and what you do while you are single makes a huge difference in your quality of life as a single person. It also has a huge impact on whether you will get married or not and what type of a marriage you will have if you do.
How to Thrive
Let me sum up my thoughts about how to thrive as a single person in a few short paragraphs.
Change your way of thinking about singleness
The first step is to make a conscious decision that you can and will stop hating being single and learn to be happy and content. I know that sounds overly simplistic and cliché, but it is a vital first step – get your mind right. Singleness is not a punishment to be endured. It can be an awesome time of personal growth and unique opportunities.
Change how you think about yourself
One is a whole number. You are a whole person – an individual, whole and complete. You are not half a person in search of your other half. Those of you who are Christians should especially realize that you are complete and whole in Christ. Neediness and desperation do not lead to good relationships. Good relationships form when two whole and complete individuals get together.
Become truly single
One of the biggest mistakes I see singles make is not taking time to just be single. Don’t rush to get paired up. Stop dating for a while and just be single. Become who you are. Become confident in who you are. That takes time. Don’t rush it. Learn to be happy and content without any romantic or sexual entanglement before you attempt another relationship.
Change the way you date
One of the other huge mistakes I see single people make is serial dating. If you want better results, stop doing what you have been doing. Do something different. Date differently. Don’t date – as in forming some sort of ‘marriage lite’. Date – as in spending some quality time with different types of people and having a little nonromantic, platonic fun while getting a feel for if that person might make a good spouse. And, be sure to leave everyone you go out with a little better than they were before they spent time with you.
No! Not have sex, as a single that’s counterproductive. I mean do those things I just mentioned. Doing those things will help you thrive as a single person and give you the best shot at a happy marriage later – if you decide to give up the awesome single life you create.
This Past Year
Those principles are at the heart of what I have written about each of the last fifty-two weeks. And, they will remain at the heart of what I blog and podcast from now on.
This past year has been quite an adventure. I have learned so much about blogging and podcasting. From the creative aspects to the technical know-how it has been challenging. It has also been rewarding to see the content I have created making its way out into the world and having an impact on the lives of singles.
The blog readership has kind of plateaued, so if you find the content valuable please share it with someone you know who needs to read it. On the other hand, I have been surprised at how quickly the podcast has picked up listeners. But, there are still lots and lots of singles out there who need to hear these things and make some changes so they can stop hating being single and start thriving. So, please pass it on.
My vision for the future includes some exciting things.
in the near future, I hope to make better use of video on YouTube and Facebook. In the meantime, check out the content I do have up on YouTube. There are podcast episodes and some curated videos available there.
One of the things I most want to see in the coming year is more back and forth communication, more of a two-way conversation between us. Toward that end, please make use of the comment section under each blog post or leave comments or questions on the Thrive Singles Ministry Facebook page or on Twitter @ThriveSingles. And, if you have a question or comment for me but would like to stay out of public view, you can always email me at Ask@ThriveSingles.com.
As we discuss what’s important to you as a single person, and what’s on your mind, we can be a valuable resource for each other. So please, let me know how I can better serve you.
A Little Further Down the Line
I am also planning on writing a book and perhaps creating an online course. Is that something you might be interested in? See, that’s an opportunity right there for some conversation. Seriously, let me know your thoughts on those things.
I have a little present for you. See what I did there. If you sign up for the mailing list, you will get instant access to a free ebook I just put together with some basics on how to thrive as a single person. You can download the epub (for Google books and most other ebook readers), mobi (for Kindle), or PDF version.
Thank You, Thrive On!
Lastly, a big thank you to those of you who have subscribed and passed things on to others. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Till next week, thrive on!
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