Dealing with the Pressure to Date

Dealing with the Pressure to Date

Under Pressure

We’ve all heard these questions. So, who are you dating now? Are you dating anyone yet? Why aren’t you dating yet? Are you gay? Continue reading “Dealing with the Pressure to Date”

Second Virginity? A Second Chance to Get It Right

A Second Virginity? A Second Chance to Get It Right

Lost Virginity

Okay, first, let’s get the bad news out of the way. Second virginity is not the same as virginity. Once you have sex you are no longer a virgin. That ship has sailed. There is no do-over. It is not truthful or accurate to call yourself a virgin. A virgin is by definition someone who has not had sex. Period. Continue reading “Second Virginity? A Second Chance to Get It Right”

Moving On | How to Thrive After an Unexpected Breakup

Moving On | How to Thrive After an Unexpected Breakup

The End

Okay. It’s over. You were on the receiving end of the ‘we need to talk/it’s not you/we can still be friends’ speech. This comes as a shock to you. They seem perfectly okay with moving on. Meanwhile, you struggle to eat, work, and even breathe. You may have even been toyed with or cheated on. What you do now, at this point, is critical. How do you move on after an unexpected breakup? Continue reading “Moving On | How to Thrive After an Unexpected Breakup”

Bad Advice For Singles

Bad Advice For Singles

Bad Advice / Good Advice

When I found myself single again at forty, I received a lot of awesome advice. Some of it saved me a lot of heartache. Maybe I’ll write about that some other time. Today, let’s talk about some of worst bad advice people give singles. Continue reading “Bad Advice For Singles”

How Can I Trust Again After My Heart’s Been Broken?

How Can I Trust Again After My Heart's Been Broken?

Trust Again?!?

Can I ever trust again? That was one of my biggest post-divorce questions. After going through such a huge betrayal, is it possible to once again trust someone with the level of trust it takes to make a marriage thrive? Continue reading “How Can I Trust Again After My Heart’s Been Broken?”

Singleness = Freedom

Singleness = Freedom

Freedom

A belated Happy 4th of July to all my fellow Americans!

Thinking about the freedom and liberty we enjoy as citizens of the United States of America also got me ruminating a bit about the advantages and freedoms afforded by the single life. Continue reading “Singleness = Freedom”

Who Can You Trust? | Your Heart? Your Friends? Your Gut?

Who Can You Trust?

Trust: Hard to Gain, Easy to Lose

It is hard to build, easy to lose and harder yet to rebuild – trust. As to the latter, that is too difficult to cover in this brief post. I may try to tackle it in another post on another day. Today I want to talk about who to trust.

After my divorce, I never thought I would be able to trust again. After feeling so betrayed, it seemed impossible to even consider trusting someone of the opposite sex. And yet, without trust, there can never be intimacy.

Therefore, if you desire deep intimacy with another human being, you will need to learn to trust. But, as a single, it sometimes seems like a jungle out there. Who can you trust as a date? Who can you trust for advice? Continue reading “Who Can You Trust? | Your Heart? Your Friends? Your Gut?”

How to Fall in Love … With Being Single!

How to Fall in Love – With Being Single

My Love Story

I know – I periodically, predictably mount my virtual soapbox and proceed to pontificate regarding not falling in love too easily and especially regarding not falling in love too soon after a breakup. But, I have to admit, I fell hard shortly after my divorce. Actually, I wish I had fallen in love sooner. It was the best thing that possibly could have happened. I fell in love – with being single!

Continue reading “How to Fall in Love … With Being Single!”

Sexual Temptation | As a Christian Single, What Do I Do?

Sexual Temptation As a Single - What Do I Do?

The Siren Song of Our Time

Just like the Siren’s Song in Greek mythology lured sailors to their death, the alluring call of sexual temptation relentlessly entices men and women to their spiritual death.

A Powerful Force

Sexual temptation is one of the biggest things I dealt with when I became single again. As a formerly married man with a healthy sex drive accustomed to regular sex, being single was hard. I have a feeling I am not alone in this. The scriptures, a lifetime of anecdotes, and scientific research back me up here. Continue reading “Sexual Temptation | As a Christian Single, What Do I Do?”

The Number One Mistake Newly Single Adults Make

The Number One Mistake Singles Make

For a number of years I had the extreme privilege of being involved in, then facilitating a program specifically for those newly single because of a divorce – DivorceCare. As I healed up, I gradually worked my way into facilitating the program because I found it so helpful to me in recovering from my divorce.

I saw a lot of good fruit from those groups, and yet, group after group, year after year a pattern emerged that frustrated me. Men and women would find our group, begin to find a little healing for their battered emotions, and take a few baby steps in the right direction. Then, bam, they would meet someone and disappear. Later on, I would hear, usually second-hand, of them experiencing another heartbreak.

My wife and I also saw this same pattern repeated in the singles group we led. In fact, whether in DivorceCare or the singles group, the number one mistake I saw newly single adults make was jumping into a relationship too soon after being divorced or widowed. Continue reading “The Number One Mistake Newly Single Adults Make”