Helping = Thriving | Learn to Thrive as a Single, Help Others

Helping Ourselves by Helping Others

One of the best ways to overcome depression, be more confident, and learn to thrive is to reach out and help other people. We volunteer to help others, but in the process, we end up helping ourselves. Continue reading “Helping = Thriving | Learn to Thrive as a Single, Help Others”

Top 10 Ways to Be Unattractive to the Opposite Sex

Top 10 Ways to Be Unattractive to the Opposite Sex

How to Be Unattractive

And here it is – just what you’ve been waiting for – your unscientific, unofficial guide to the top ten ways to be unattractive to the opposite sex. Continue reading “Top 10 Ways to Be Unattractive to the Opposite Sex”

Singleness = Freedom

Singleness = Freedom

Freedom

A belated Happy 4th of July to all my fellow Americans!

Thinking about the freedom and liberty we enjoy as citizens of the United States of America also got me ruminating a bit about the advantages and freedoms afforded by the single life. Continue reading “Singleness = Freedom”

Just Be Yourself | The Best or Worst Advice For Singles

Just Be Yourself | The Best or Worst Advice You'll Ever Receive

How many times have you been told to just be yourself? That is pretty much standard issue advice from parents or best friends to people going on a job interview or a first date.

It’s great advice if you are well-groomed, well-read, well-mannered, and witty. If you are timid, ill-tempered, unkempt, and socially awkward it is the worst advice you could ever receive. Continue reading “Just Be Yourself | The Best or Worst Advice For Singles”

Change Your Attitude | Thrive as a Single

‘Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.’
—Charles R. Swindoll

Attitude is Important

Even if you find yourself single again or single a lot longer than you would like, there is one thing that will without a doubt never fail to increase your happiness. It is not marrying mister or miss right. It is not going on more dates. It is not even reducing the length of your single years. The thing that will decide your level of happiness is your attitude. Continue reading “Change Your Attitude | Thrive as a Single”

How To Be Attractive | Confidence, Kindness, and Conversation

How To Be Attractive | Confidence, Kindness, and Conversation

How To Be Attractive

Leading a singles group left me wondering about many things. This one, in particular always puzzled me. To me, it seemed like a big need in an important area. It was something that, as a single man, I worked hard on myself. Yet, for some reason, I never received many questions about it –  how to be attractive. Continue reading “How To Be Attractive | Confidence, Kindness, and Conversation”

How to Be Attractive | Things You Can and Cannot Change

How to Be Attractive | Things You Can and Cannot Change

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. -Reinhold Niebuhr

Different People, Different Tastes

What do you find attractive? What does your best friend find attractive? Chances are there are some things that you both find attractive and some things one of you finds attractive the other does not.

No two people have exactly the same tastes in anything. This is especially true about who they find attractive and what they find attractive about them. Sometimes even when people agree that someone is attractive, they will disagree on what exactly it is that makes them attractive. Continue reading “How to Be Attractive | Things You Can and Cannot Change”

Thrive As a Single | Don’t Be Desperate!

Thrive As a Single | Don't Be Desperate!

Please allow me, as a former, long-term, midlife single person, to give you, as a currently single person, a very important piece of advice – don’t be desperate!

Desperate Is Not Attractive

One of the biggest turnoffs for me, as a single man, was women who came off as desperate. Desperate is not attractive. Desperate says, “I have no game, I have no self-worth, and I have no options.” Instead of saying, “Love me for who I am,” it says, “Love me because I fear no one else will.” Continue reading “Thrive As a Single | Don’t Be Desperate!”

Opposites Attract or Birds of a Feather?

Opposites Attract or Birds of a Feather?

What do people find attractive? Do opposites attract, or do birds of a feather flock together? Are people more attracted to a carbon copy or a polar opposite? Well, it is a little of each. Continue reading “Opposites Attract or Birds of a Feather?”

How to Be Attractive | Start With 3 Vital “Who?” Questions

How to Be Attractive | Who Are You Attracted To?

Three “Who?” Questions

Before you begin learning how to be attractive it is helpful to assess where you are and decide where you want to end up. It is good to be attractive in general. It is even better to attract the specific kind of people who make great spouses.

Let’s begin by asking ourselves three vital “Who?” questions. Who are you attracting? Who are you attracted to? And most importantly, who do you want to attract? Continue reading “How to Be Attractive | Start With 3 Vital “Who?” Questions”

Encouragement For Singles Who Want to Marry

Encouragement For Singles Who Want to Marry

Today I have a little encouragement those of you who are single and looking, single again, or just feel like you have been single way too long.

A Bit of My Story

When I found myself divorced at forty years of age, I thought my prospects were pretty bleak. There I was, brokenhearted, introverted, rejected, and not particularly good-looking, yet desiring to, at some point, remarry.

A few years later, I also found my income reduced. So, possessing neither lots of money, loads of charisma, nor lavish good looks, if I didn’t feel hopeless before, I sure felt hopeless then. Continue reading “Encouragement For Singles Who Want to Marry”

How to Go On More Dates

Want to Go On More Dates?

How long has it been since you’ve had a really good date? A bad date? Any date at all? Want to go on more dates? These four things will help.

Step One:
Get Your Mind Right

Continue reading “How to Go On More Dates”

The Unavoidable, Impossible, Necessity of Being Yourself

The Unavoidable, Impossible, Necessity of Being Yourself

Being yourself is unavoidable.

I remember an old saying that went something like – no matter where you go, there you are. People go to great lengths to start fresh. They change jobs, hobbies, neighborhoods, cities, states, countries, spouses, religions, political affiliations, and buy expensive toys. They perm, curl, straighten, extend, bob, color, lighten, darken, redden, highlight, frost, reduce, nip, tuck, lift, paint, pierce, and tattoo. Yet without real change on the inside, they find themselves to be the same collection of attitudes, prejudices, and opinions they were before – just with a different wardrobe and hairstyle. Continue reading “The Unavoidable, Impossible, Necessity of Being Yourself”